


Pushing The Limits

by VampireHydeFTW



Category: Malice Mizer
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-25
Updated: 2018-02-25
Packaged: 2019-03-23 20:44:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13795989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VampireHydeFTW/pseuds/VampireHydeFTW
Summary: For a shy man like Kami, every step in their relationship was a feat of courage but for Gackt, Kami could be brave.





	Pushing The Limits

**Author's Note:**

> This is actually one of the earliest Gackt X Kami stories I wrote. I still remember writing it and my reasoning even for certain lines.

            “So, who’s sleeping where?” Yu~ki asked as the five men stood in the hallway. It was Malice Mizer’s very first tour with Gackt, and they had just been handed the keys to three bedrooms within the hotel. It appeared that the band wasn’t famous enough yet to be offered separate rooms. In a way they were lucky, the hotel before they had all had to sleep in the same room. Yu~ki’s neck was still a little stiff from having to sleep on that sofa.

            “I don’t mind sharing,” Kami offered. To a casual observer Kami’s statement would probably make him appear kind, or at least agreeable, the reality was slightly different.

            “You’re just scared of being alone.” Yu~ki teased.

            “No I’m not!” Kami denied, though what Yu~ki said was true. Kami had never lived alone, he’d slept alone of course but always there would be someone in the room next door. Besides, Kami felt safer in his own house than a hotel. In his own house there weren’t strangers walking down the hall just outside the room where he slept.

            “Let Kami share if he wants too.” Gackt replied, from the first time he’d met Kami he had been protective of the other man, to the extent the others teased him about being Kami’s boyfriend. Little did they know there were some truth behind the words, they weren’t a couple but they were certainly heading that way. Friends, no matter how close, didn’t kiss each other when nobody was watching. “It’s just one less person after the single room.”

“I think I should get it!” Yu~ki announced. “I’m the one who had to suffer on that sofa!”

“You slept on the sofa because you lost!” Közi reminded him. Referring to the game of rock, paper, scissors that had been played to determine the unlucky person on the sofa. The same game was used to determine who ended up sleeping in the single beds or the double. It had been Kami and Közi who had to share a bed in the end. Gackt had been secretly disappointed. After Kami’s name had been called for the double, he had suddenly wanted to lose the game.

“You cheated!” Yu~ki complained.

“You can’t cheat at rock, paper, scissors.” Közi argued.

“Hey Mana, you can’t just claim the room!” Gackt cried as Mana walked into the single room. “Mana!” Gackt shouted as he heard the lock on the door click.

“You thief!” Közi shouted as he joined Gackt. Together the two shouted and banged at the door but there was no response.

“Mana always was selfish,” Yu~ki commented. “We’re not going to get him out of there. We might as well just pick who is sharing and which room.”

“The rooms look identical,” Kami announced. He had been checking them out while the chaos with Mana had been going on. “They’re next to each other and have pretty much the same view. I already put my stuff in the room on the left.”

“Ok so rock, paper, scissors to find out who get to share with Kami.” Közi announced. “Looser has to sleep with Kami.”

“Hey!” Kami cried laughing. “Don’t you mean winner?”

“Actually yeah. Winner gets Kami.” Közi agreed, as he realised he would in fact most like to share with Kami.

“That sounds about right.” Gackt agreed, flashing Kami a smile.

“3. 2. 1,” Közi counted down. “No, not Gackt!” Közi complained as he realised who is room mate was going to be. Yu~ki had won the right to share with Kami.

“What do you mean by that?” Gackt complained.

“You’re the neat type. It’s just going to be like sharing with Mana.” Közi complained.

“I’m nothing like Mana! Give me a chance before deciding I’m a bad room mate!” Gackt complained.

“I already know you are,” Közi announced. “it’s going to be just like in the dressing rooms.”

“You mean because I try to keep your mess in your space?” Gackt asked.

“Yes. It’s going to be just like that.” Közi sulked.

 

“Kami fake a headache.” Gackt whispered. The band was in the hotel bar drinking, but Gackt had already grown bored of this.

“You fake a headache.” Kami responded, knowing perfectly well what Gackt was after.

“No, it’s better if you do it,” Gackt whispered. “No one will suspect you of anything.”

“You better treat me nice.” Kami sulked as he did as Gackt had asked. Minutes later a ‘sick’ Kami was being helped back to his room by Gackt. Kami made a remarkable recovery the moment they had reached his room.

“I wish we’d ended up together.” Gackt said, as Kami shut and locked the bedroom door. Now only Yu~ki would be able to enter without knocking.

“I’m kind of glad we’re apart,” Kami admitted, sitting down on the edge of his bed. “You know I like you but I’m sure you’re the kind of man who’d try to take advantage.”

“I would,” Gackt agreed laughing. “But if you rejected me I’d stop.”

“I’d find it hard to reject you,” Kami responded. “Even though I’m not ready for that yet.”

“Yeah well, now I’ve ended up Közi,” Gackt complained. “He makes such a mess and when I move his things back to his side, he complains I’m messing up his ‘order’ and that he can’t find things if I move them. He wouldn’t have that problem if he was tidy.”

“Just like the dressing room.” Kami laughed.

“Yeah. Just like the dressing room,” Gackt agreed. “And just like the dressing room, when we end up alone….”

“Yes, that too.” Kami agreed, standing back up and gently wrapping his arms around Gackt’s waist.

“You’re so beautiful.” Gackt complimented him, as he placed his own hands on Kami’s back, feeling Kami’s hair beneath his fingers.

“Not as beautiful as you.” Kami replied.

“You say the stupidest of things. I better shut you up.” Gackt replied, placing his lips on Kami’s. He wanted so much more from Kami, but that would come in time. Pushing it would only guarantee that it would never happen. Still the longer Kami made Gackt wait the better it would be, so Gackt didn’t complain. He’d enjoy what he got and be grateful he was getting anything at all.

“How long do you think it’ll be before someone comes up?” Kami whispered.

“Well it’s still early. It’s only just past nine,” Gackt commented. “We should have a few hours.”

“Someone might come to see if I’m alright.” Kami pointed out.

“I don’t think so. They’re already too drunk,” Gackt replied. “They know I’m here. That’s enough to erase their worries.”

“So, no one will come up?” Kami questioned.

“Not likely.” Gackt reminded him. “Why are you so worried?”

“Because,” Kami explained blushing. “If they don’t come up, I wouldn’t mind if something else did. They’re not the only ones who are a bit drunk.”

“You sure that’s not just the alcohol talking?” Gackt asked, afraid to get too hopeful.

“The alcohol is fuelling my courage,” Kami answered. “I haven’t had enough for it to control my mind.”

“I can really have you?” Gackt asked.

“I never said that,” Kami replied. “But I’ll give you a hand should you become too aroused.”

“I might have to return the favour.” Gackt warned.

“I don’t want you to see me naked,” Kami answered blushing. “Not yet.”

“Something to hide?” Gackt teased.

“No. It’s just…” Kami began.

“You’re shy. It’s alright.” Gackt said gently, running a finger down the side of Kami’s face, tracing Kami’s lips with his finger, and then his tongue. Soon his tongue was in Kami’s mouth. The two men clinging desperately to each other.

Before they had always held back. Keeping the kisses slow and gentle so that the other one wouldn’t start craving more. Now it didn’t matter, in fact wasn’t that their aim?

“Undress me.” Gackt begged. Kami gave no answer, only starting the kiss up again. However moments later Gackt’s shirt was on the floor. Kami’s hand gently slid down Gackt’s chest but paused before going too low. Kami was obviously nervous. Still Gackt knew that given time Kami would move on and so he didn’t push it. That’s all Kami needed, time to get used to the idea.

“Can I see your chest?” Gackt asked as he began to kiss Kami’s neck.

“Ok.” Kami whispered sounding scared. Soon Kami’s top joined Gackt’s shirt, abandoned.

Deciding to help Kami out, Gackt removed his own trousers and shoes. Standing naked in front of his friend Gackt showed no signs of embarrassment. He was proud of his body. There was no reason why he shouldn’t be.

It was Kami who embarrassed by Gackt’s nudity. Still he couldn’t draw his eyes away from the other man. He knew Gackt didn’t mind him looking. Gackt wanted him to look. Gackt was so beautiful. His body was flawless. It made it worse for Kami. He knew his own body couldn’t compete. No matter what Gackt said, he wouldn’t believe it. Gackt was the sexiest man Kami had ever seen. No one could compete.

“Come, kiss me.” Gackt encouraged as he lay on Kami’s bed. As Gackt had chosen to lie in the middle of the single bed, Kami has no choice but to lie on top of him. Nervously Kami straddled Gackt, one leg on either side. Holding his hair out of the way, he leaned over to follow Gackt’s command. As Kami kissed Gackt he was aware the whole time that there was only the thin layer of his trousers and underwear between their bodies and their naked chests were pressed against each other. It wasn’t an unfamiliar sensation and yet this time it scared Kami. Was he really ready to give Gackt more than a kiss? More than his touch?

“Anyone would think I should be on top.” Gackt teased.

“If they knew.” Kami agreed.

“You sure you’re ready for more?” Gackt asked.

“I’m ready.” Kami announced. He wasn’t backing out now. Not now he had tempted Gackt. It would just be cruel to back out now.

“This would be easier with a double bed.” Gackt complained.

“It’ll be easier if you tell me what to do,” Kami announced. “Then I’m just following orders.”

“Where’s the fun in that?” Gackt demanded. “Fine let me sit up.” Repositioning himself a little to give Kami more space, Gackt smiled at Kami. “Relax. Only I know what’s going on here.” Gackt encouraged.

“I can’t relax.” Kami complained.

“Try,” Gackt ordered. Taking Kami’s hand, he stroked it gently. “You know I’m not going to make fun of you. It’s your first time, I don’t expect you to be amazing.”

“I want to be.” Kami sulked.

“Besides if you’re great now, you won’t get better.” Gackt encouraged.

“There is that.” Kami agreed.

“Here I’ll help you.” Gackt said, as he placed Kami’s hand on his own crotch. He saw Kami’s eyes open in surprise but his own hand was above Kami’s. He wouldn’t let Kami pull back. “It’s no different to yours.” Gackt commented.

“It is,” Kami responded. “But I won’t move my hand. You can let me go.”

“Sure.” Gackt obeyed, letting Kami’s hand go free. As promised Kami’s hand remained placed on Gackt’s crotch. For a moment Kami seemed frozen but then he began to gently stroke Gackt. The touch was so gently and yet Gackt couldn’t help responding.

“That’s good,” Gackt smiled. “Keep going.”

“This isn’t so bad.” Kami admitted, after he got used to what he was doing.

“See, all you need is a little more confidence.” Gackt encouraged.

“Gackt. What we’re doing. You do like me, right?” Kami asked nervously.

“Of course I like you!” Gackt cried.

“No, I mean more than a friend,” Kami encouraged. “You don’t just see me as a friend who…. Does this sort of stuff?”

“Only if that’s what you want,” Gackt replied. “I love you Kami.”

“You love me?” Kami repeated, sounding relieved and surprised.

“I love you,” Gackt repeated. “I’m not just saying it because it’s what you want to hear. I love you.”

“I feel the same way.” Kami replied, smiling happily.

“Good.” Gackt said.

“I’m terrified but I’m going to do it,” Kami announced. “Because you love me?”

“Do what?” Gackt asked.

“This.” Kami grinned, as he took Gackt’s now hard penis in his mouth.

“I always knew you were brave.” Gackt announced happily. He could feel Kami’s hair against his thighs now. His warm breath against his crotch. But the best sensation of all was Kami’s mouth. He longed to push Kami’s head down. Make him take the entire length but he couldn’t do that to a man like Kami. Not when it was taking him so much courage to go this far. Happily, Gackt settled back to allow Kami to do what he wanted. As Kami’s confidence grew, the experience became even better. It was all Gackt could do to hold back his cries of delight. The hotel walls were thin and he didn’t want anyone to hear him shouting out Kami’s name. Still he couldn’t remain silent. Moaning quietly Gackt was in heaven. His boyfriend was an angel. Surely that was what Kami was now. His boyfriend, he’d been an angel before.

Eventually Gackt came in a wave of pleasure. His whole body over come with delight.

“You were great.” Gackt smiled as a nervous and embarrassed Kami pulled back. He saw Kami swallow the liquid and grinned. It seemed a lot more respectful than spitting it out.

“I need water.” Kami muttered, as he got up to get a bottle from the mini bar. The price list listed the water at 400 yen but they weren’t paying for it so it didn’t matter.

“You ok?” Gackt asked.

“It tastes weird.” Kami admitted, after taking a long drink of water.

“You’re just too cute,” Gackt laughed. “You could have spat it out you know.”

“It wouldn’t have made a difference. It was already in my mouth.” Kami answered.

“Sure you don’t want me to return the favour?” Gackt asked.

“I’m sure,” Kami replied. “All I want is you to hold me.”

“I can do that.” Gackt agreed, as he moved over on the bed so Kami could sit beside him. Quietly Kami sat next to his new boyfriend, resting his head on Gackt’s chest as Gackt held him close. For Gackt this had been nothing but pleasure but for Kami it had been something different. It had been a test of his courage. A test he had passed. Next time, for there would be a next time, he would push himself further. It was the only way for their relationship to grow. Thinking about next time filled Kami with fear, but greater than the fear was excitement. As long as he had Gackt, he could do anything.


End file.
